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Joined 7 months ago
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Cake day: February 29th, 2024

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  • Except it isn’t obvious to many people, and using the correct language is more important than any supposed point they were trying to make (because part of rape culture is society, and especially the media and the courts not calling it what it is to muddy the water. I’m not accusing OP of doing that deliberately, but that’s why words matter, even if you intention is benign).

    Edit to add now my brain is in gear, probably just as important: is the issue of perpetuating ableist and or queerphobic stigma (which again, OP doesn’t have to intend for it, for it to be happening) - there is absolutely nothing inherently wrong with a person who has HIV having unprotected sex. Most HIV patients, especially in developed countries, now have viral loads so low they are not contagious, and have partners who are perfectly happy and safe having unprotected sex with them.

    The problem here is and always was the lack of consent, aka rape, and the fact that the rapist husband told all his rapist friends that condoms were unnecessary. Nothing at all to do with the HIV status of one of the rapists (note she caught 3 other STI’s too, but no one is singling those rapists out individually)

    So yes, words matter, the fact that they don’t matter to you, or any of the other fragile downvoters, doesn’t change that.






  • Yes, you can actually have mold grow on your skin. But there are a lot of bacteria competing for food with the mold, as well as body oils and waste secretions, on top of the body’s immune system being pretty good at taking care of invasions.

    There are quite a few different types of fungal skin infections (athlete’s foot, ringworm, fungal nails, an array of yeast infections), some can be pretty damn persistent!









  • The cops are unlikely to help you, wherever you are.

    Instead, try social services, or a domestic abuse charity, they will be significantly more sympathetic and could potentially offer you support, or at least tools to try and deal with this situation.

    The other thing is to protect yourself, go no contact or at least reduce it. It sounds from your short post that you are an adult and live in your own property - don’t let him in. If he has a key - change the locks. If he tries to break in then the police might help, try and gather as much evidence as you can (like a camera doorbell or other recording). Don’t answer any of his communication, if you can, block/delete him from all of your devices and social media. Personally, I would apply the same to your mother, that’s up to you, but it sounds like she’s at the very least enabling him, so isn’t looking out for your best interests, and you need to ask yourself if those are the kind of people you want in your life.

    Life is too short to hang on to toxic people who harm us in the hope that they might change. Being related doesn’t make them worthy of your time energy or love. If they do eventually regret their actions and want to apologise and try to make amends, you can let them, or you can choose not to, both are valid.

    Take care.


  • Because the powers that be and the systems they have in place (capitalism, Christian white supremacy, patriarchy, cis-heteronormativity) benefit in one way or another.

    If they teach us that Julius Caesar was a bad guy and that it’s good he was defeated, then we might learn that our current leaders are often bad guys too, and that maybe we should do the same to them.

    In the same way that if they teach us that Hitler took his inspiration for the holocaust from already firmly established American racism, we might learn that our own history is just as bad and should be fought against at all cost (which is also what we’re taught instead of the reality - the allies fought the Nazis because they threatened their own power, not because of an ideological disagreement).

    That’s why we’re not taught (or only given a palatable token example) about working people fighting the owning class for basic rights, Black brown and Indigenous people fighting the Christian white supremacist establishment and winning, and other oppressed groups standing up to their oppressors (E: nor most of the atrocities they have and continue to commit).

    Whitewashing history is always a deliberate act, and is always done in defence of the ruling class.