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Cake day: June 23rd, 2023

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  • A couple years ago I rage quit a gaming session (during a break) with “Whelp, I’m gonna go do something I enjoy.”

    My teammates understood. They were all very good at the game and I was not. I kept getting absolutely trounced, and was bringing them down with me.
    It’s now sort of an in-joke/phrase we use unironically when the vibe is off but we still like our friends.



  • I haven’t yet looked at the map (I will!), but I’m struck by the idea that perhaps a map should exist that shows how USDA hardiness zones will shift. (I mean - according to best guesses.)

    If I had the ability, it would be interesting to make a map that asks users what their favorite local tree or animal is, and tells them how long it will be able to survive near them. Nearly impossible to account for all use cases, but I digress. Even simpler - Go for a map of state trees, flowers, and animals with extinction times for each to let folks know how long each state can hold onto its signature species. Well, for the ones that aren’t already gone, anyway.


  • I’ve even seen news stories that indicate the IDF is clearing and trucking out/burying rubble so it cannot be reused or recycled if rebuilding ever occurs.
    Because of the concrete blockade, there used to be a decent trade in Gaza to recycle concrete to build new things. (I don’t know how they do it. Maybe they just use it as aggregate?) I imagine the metals could be repurposed (some), or more likely, sold as scrap and those funds used to buy new materials.


  • That’s sort of whack that they’d issue that diagnosis on the grounds that she was a deep sleeper and had sleepwalked once or twice in her teens.

    It boggles the mind that the first and seemingly only time she woke up wondering “did I have sex?” the experts just jumped to it being sexsomnia.

    Personal confession: I experience it. Not diagnosed, but by the time I was 19, I knew. Since then it’s a part of the conversation I have with anyone I share a bed with. (And the folks I share a bed with also confirm that it happens. Lots of “Were you awake when…?” questions. Fortunately, no misunderstandings or upset feelings.)

    I know everyone is different, but I feel she is the best judge of herself. It’s already established that the experts were wrong and CPS reacted inappropriately, but… ugh. You fucking know. Your partners tell you about it. You usually wake up during or just after.
    I can’t imagine her loss or despair at being told people who never met her know her better than herself and thus she is going to be denied justice. Much less the rage that they let the man walk free on such a flimsy reasoning.




  • A few weeks ago, a mom was at the hardware store with her young son – he was about five years old.
    For some reason, we crossed paths a few times, And each time she was talking with her son about the things they were buying in the projects that they were buying them for. But what Caught my attention first was he asked her ‘What if we can’t do it?’ and she responded with ‘Well then we learned how because we can figure it out.’
    This woman was endlessly, encouraging towards her son, and it was clear that she was setting him up to have an attitude of feeling like he was capable of tackling things in life. Which is something that I didn’t get us a kid - I was often told that I couldn’t do things or the things were beyond my capability and that if my mom didn’t know how to do something that it was basically impossible for me to figure out how to do it as well.

    I was so impressed by their interaction, that when I saw her later while I was checking out, I actually said something to her and after she figured out I wasn’t trying to pick her up, she took a moment and like… just looked satisfied. I was happy with the interaction.

    Beyond the fact that I mostly grew up without a father and my mother was very self focused to the point that it was pretty detrimental to me, I also grew up with undiagnosed ADHD that I only learned about in my early 40s. I am constantly discovering ways that I feel broken in the world, so you are not alone.


  • You are not a machine and you have the right to happiness. I hope you find it.

    I recommend therapy, if you haven’t tried it, and if it’s not working, I suggest different therapists, or different types of therapy. It’s okay to tell a therapist you’re not getting much out of their style/your relationship with them, and ask for their assessment of what you should be looking for. Then go look at that. Keep trying until you find something that clicks.
    If it helps, in your shoes I would view it as a continuation of your parental duties. When she moves out, or maybe has kids of her own, you can continue the relationship with her and your grandchildren as your genuine, authentic, and - perhaps - happy self.


  • Monument@lemmy.sdf.orgtoScience Memes@mander.xyzQuick Chat
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    1 month ago

    I have this notion that one day it would be nice to be neighborly enough to just put out a sign that says “fresh coffee”, “brunch”, “Beer on tap” or whatever as a signal that people should drop by for a chat.
    But I’m not really in my neighborhood’s demographic. It’s an older neighborhood, and the only folks close to my age seem like extreme introverts.









  • Mind you, the complaint from Israel is not that Adidas is engaging in the revival effort/advertising campaign. Their specific complaint was that Adidas picked Bella Hadid as the face of it.

    Bella Hadid, who has not publicly said anything negative about Israel. Whose only “offenses” are that she’s half Palestinian, and that she’s shared messages on social media that condemn all murder, (which explicitly includes condemning the murder of Israelis in that statement).
    Sure, she supports the right to a homeland by Palestinians, but that’s not explicitly a dig at Israel. It seems like she’s taken great pains to not condemn an eminently condemnable country that has personally wronged her family, and now, her personally.

    It seems like Israel is throwing their weight around to harm her career and erase the achievements of yet another Palestinian. Much harm to her, for no harm mitigation to themselves.


  • Ah, thank you. That was the missing piece.

    This might sound either self-adulating or naive (probably both), but I just don’t think like that. I view religions and nations as distinct - even nations that embrace a single religion. It’s just - Administrative systems for governance and the decisions that arise from those aren’t the same as religious belief systems.

    My innate reaction to those who choose not to recognize a difference between hostility toward Judaism and hostility toward Zionism or Israel’s policies Is to think they’re an unserious person. (That’s a polite way of saying I think those people are complete morons.)
    Note: Even though you’re discussing blurring those lines, I know you’re doing it for illustrative purposes. My sentiments above do not apply to you.

    It’s probably a good thing I’m not in politics or a publicly visible position, because I don’t have to tie my livelihood to the perceptions of folks whose judgment I find questionable. It would suck making those sorts of moral concessions.