That was wonderful.

I’ll always fondly love the simple poetry of the Courier’s introductory scene, especially in the context of the two games it’s sandwiched between.

Fallout 3’s tutorial takes the protagonist through an underground infancy, childhood, and young adulthood before opening the vault door to the game’s world.

Fallout 4 sees the Player through the apocalypse itself before waking up in a tube and beginning the actual gameplay.

But New Vegas? Just a poor soul dragged from a literal shallow grave and patched up just enough to not die.

Halfway through this, I honestly thought the punchline was gunna be more like…

They’ll remember:

• Nothing

• The sun will eventually burn out

• All human achievement will dissolve away with the eventual death of the physical universe

Wait. Am I okay? Jesus, dude…

I instinctively read that in Homestar Runner’s voice.

For the people who are still alive!

Onward, men! Full sails to the horizon! On my oath, we’ll make it to Ikeland by morning!

Oh, there will be Ikes as far as the eye can see, I tell you! Tall Ikes, short Ikes, God-fearing Ikes! Our coffers will overflow with the abundance of Ikes!

You who would doubt me, who would claim the impossibility of such a paradise, you cowards who hide from ambition and surround yourselves with the petty offerings of Steve Island or David Cove, why you would not know how to handle the Ikes of Ikeland!

But I am a man of greater mettle, and I will know this new land.

Raise the anchor. The Ikes await.

I know this is just a silly meme, but it makes me feel a little hopeful seeing evidence of other people thinking like this on the road, y’know, responding with empathy and concern for strangers instead of immediate vengeful anger.

…ah-tah?

Yeah, kinda hard to ignore those themes in a game whose antagonist is a deliberate gender-swap of Ayn Rand.

Have you seen what’s down there? It’s terrifying.

You don’t have to tell me. Deep down at the bottom of the ocean? The whole place is crawling with…capitalists.

Yeah, yeah. I know. Andrew Ryan gave us all the big, shiny speech, “sweat of your brow” and all that, but what’s he got down there now? Just a buncha junkies and opportunists running guns and peeling off all of that pretty art deco veneer.

Thanks but no thanks, Ryan.

Hakuna oblongata.

I really like that the dinosaur is labeled and defined in that diagram.

Can anyone expand on this claim?

I did a search out of curiosity and couldn’t find a single link, page, or video on the religious rites of turtles.

My immediate thought as well.

Jolly Roger Bay, all day.

Right?

“64-year-old composer dares to retire after lifelong career of creating genre-defining compositions; REFUSES to create more!”

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God, I miss shittymorph.