So, I am a minor, at this point almost 100% a trans woman and I sometimes suddenly have these urges when I am with either of my parents to tell them. I know they are transphobic and most likely wouldn’t accept me, but I still get this feeling and I hate it.
So sorry you’re going through this. I leaned into this in the past and just threw it in people’s faces because I was so done being closeted and self-hating. It felt awesome in the moment, but it didn’t go well for me.
I personally have never been able to exorcise this feeling without coming out. But since you are still dependent on your parents - is there any way to express these feelings through art or some other activity? Physical exercise and killing things in video games helps me with the rage, while art-making has occasionally helped my feelings of grief and sadness.
It’s so hard. It probably isn’t much comfort, but you’re not alone in feeling like this. You won’t always be living at home - you WILL get through this.